The Credit Union Stock Market Remains Unchanged

By Meme CU Staff | Circulated, Then Retracted

The Credit Union Stock Market remains at zero. It has never been higher. It has never been lower.
It has never technically opened. There were no trades. There were no listings.

There was a brief conversation about whether CDs count, but it was inconclusive and adjourned without notes. Some observers have suggested there are ways to measure performance – membership growth, loan production, brand awareness – but none of these indicators have prices, movement, or liquidity. So, we’ve chosen to ignore them.

There is no equity. There is no exit. There is only retained earnings.

Analyst Outlook:
Sentiment is stable. Participation is mandatory.

Dividends will be served with the sheet cake. The markets will never close, because they were never opened, because they don’t exist.